pockycrusader: (Default)
2017-09-21 05:20 pm

(no subject)

Nope. Struck out again on the job hunt. And I'm pretty sure I didn't get that college library job either. Goddammit. What is wrong with me that makes me so undesirable?
pockycrusader: (Default)
2017-09-20 02:06 pm

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Had my interview yesterday. I keep thinking and rethinking about my responses to their questions and everything and... well... I think it went well, but then I think, oh what if I didn't give a good answer to this question or what if they were looking for a different answer....

They said I'd hear back either way and that it'd be in less than two weeks. I mean...maybe that's a good sign? But then again, maybe not? Aaah, it'll drive me crazy trying to figure out how this phone interview went. I'm hoping that my patience and easy-going response to all the technical issues and whatnot is a point in my favor, and I hope they feel I'm a good fit for the job even if it means I'd need to move to another state.

I don't know what to do anymore. Mom is pushing me towards this 911 operator job that's super stressful with 12 hour shifts and with no control over nights, weekends, holidays.... She knows about all of this but she's still insisting that I need to work somewhere. I mean, on one level I do understand, but at the same time, what exactly am I going to get out of working that job? Other than burnt out and more misanthropic than before.

I just want something to work out in my favor for a change.
pockycrusader: (Default)
2017-09-14 06:50 pm
Entry tags:

Currently reading...

Other than my constant disappointment with the job-hunting scene, I've been trying to pare down my backlog of books. I'm currently working my way through This House is Haunted by John Boyne. It's like The Turn of the Screw but without the long, rambling sentences. And the haunting action is a little more active and involved. The creepiness is sprinkled throughout the book like little breadcrumbs. It's a good October book, but I couldn't wait to get into a good ghost story and cracked it open a little early.

I just finished Supermarket by Satoshi Azuchi. I didn't expect to enjoy that one as much as I did. Who would have thought that a supermarket would be such a tempest in a teapot? Blackmail, backstabbing, embezzling, secret lovers' trysts, cover-ups, factions warring against one another.... I mean, I guess those things exist in any workplace, but the last place you'd expect would be your local supermarket.

On my e-books, I've been reading Deathless by Catherynne M. Valente. It's interesting how she takes traditional Russian folklore and makes it fit both the old tales and the Communist Russia era.
pockycrusader: (Default)
2017-09-14 09:26 am

(no subject)

I have been contacted by another library in Maryland. They emailed me and said that I've been selected to be interviewed, but I had to email them to set up a phone interview since I'm an out-of-state candidate. I hope I hear back soon....

Still haven't heard back from the college that I interviewed with before Labor Day. I sincerely doubt I'll be getting the position if I haven't heard back yet. Bleehh...

I'm so fed up with job hunting and all the stresses associated with it and not having a job.
pockycrusader: (Default)
2017-09-11 08:31 am

(no subject)

Since hurricanes have started hitting the Gulf coast again, I'm sure I'll get a job offer from that area now. I am The Hurricane Magnet, and apparently it's my time to rise again.

But seriously, to any readers in the areas hit by Harvey and Irma, I hope you are getting the care and support you need. These are some pretty nasty storms - I don't think we've seen such a bad season in a long time, even the year the Gulf coast got hit by 4 hurricanes in one summer.
pockycrusader: (Default)
2017-08-31 12:30 pm

(no subject)

I sent thank-you emails to my interviewers from yesterday. One person did respond, so I know that at least one got read. I mean, they're not required to respond to a thank-you email, but it's always nice when someone at least acknowledges you.

But, I still don't think I'm going to get the job. No one else has wanted me except one library in Florida. I wish I had just accepted the low pay and moved down there. At least I'd have a job. I'm so fucking stupid.
pockycrusader: (Default)
2017-08-30 02:37 pm

(no subject)

I think that all employers should be required to give specific reasons why you didn't get picked for a job opening. One of the big employers in my area, who has employed practically everyone I knew at my last non-library job, rejected me for a position that they had two openings for. Why? I don't know. They just said "The position has been filled". What am I supposed to do with that? Why should I apply again to your company if you won't tell me why you didn't pick me this time? What expectation of yours didn't I meet? What did everyone else have that I didn't?

I just finished another job interview at a college library. I'll be honest, I'm not optimistic about it. I think it went well, but I thought all the other interviews went well and here I am still unemployed.
pockycrusader: (Default)
2017-08-28 09:34 pm

(no subject)

In a further attempt to get me over my scaredy-cat-ness, I got on another roller coaster yesterday. InvadR is much less intense than Verbolten. My brother and I were in the second car from the front, which is waaay farther front than I ever want to be on a coaster. When you're near the front and the coaster begins its inevitable, smooth, gravity-assisted drop over the lip of the steepest hill on the track, all you can think is "This was a bad idea". And, when the pictures show up on the screens at the end, my face clearly shows that I was seriously rethinking my life's decisions up to that point. But, it was a fun coaster. I'd probably ride it again. But, it's definitely one to do early in the day before the line gets too long.

After InvadR, Mom insisted we go on Le Scoot, a log-flume ride. I. Hate. Log flumes. I hate rides where you can possibly get soaking wet, and I always end up getting drenched. And this time, I somehow ended up in the front of the log. I had a white-knuckle grip on the bars inside the log (there's no lap-bar or anything, just two bars running on the long-sides of the log on the inside) and I braced my arms against the sides of the seating-area, so now I have these bruises on my forearms from that ride. They're not visible bruises because they're like right on the bone, but they hurt.

It's weird, though, that after the roller coasters and the state-fair-type rides (you know, scramblers, battering rams, etc), I was on a bit of an adrenaline high. I wanted to do riskier stuff, even after we left the park. I'm still a bit of a scaredy-cat, but I feel like less of one after the last few trips to the park. Maybe the controlled nature of risk-taking made me more comfortable with risk-taking behavior (a controlled, carefully calculated drop on a roller coaster feels risky to my monkey-brain, but since I didn't die maybe it makes me more comfortable with other kinds of risks)? Something to study, I guess. Gotta be careful that it doesn't make me do something stupid like drive too fast or cow-tip a bull, though.
pockycrusader: (Default)
2017-08-25 09:48 am

(no subject)

Urgh. The worst part about interviews is that period of silence where they're making their decision. I haven't heard from my last interviews in the "earliest" time frame, and I usually assume that means I didn't make the cut. If I don't get at least one job offer from these jobs, I will be extremely disappointed.

Edit: Well, the contractor job didn't want me. The part-time A/R job hasn't contacted me either, so I can assume they don't want me either.

So, in the end, they're just toying with me.
pockycrusader: (Default)
2017-08-22 08:50 pm

(no subject)

I was sitting at the gas station waiting for Mom to finish gassing up her car, when my phone went off. It was one of the local colleges wanting to know if I was available for an interview for a library position there. So, although I don't have the confirmation email yet, I do have notes I took for the date and time and what college. I will assume it will be in the library building....

So, yeah. Suddenly, I feel like hot property. Maybe things are going to start looking up for me in other areas, too. Maybe I'll trip and land face-first into the fantastic pectoral muscles of a Chris Hemsworth clone....
pockycrusader: (Default)
2017-08-18 08:36 am

(no subject)

After months of a dry spell, I have gotten another call about an application I put in at a major firm in my area. It's a full-time accounts receivable type job. I'm playing phone tag with them now. They called me yesterday while I was at the interview for the library tech job.

So, we'll see.

In other news, I seem to have woken up with a cough. I'm hoping this is just crap running down the back of my throat from my sinuses and not a cold. I hate, hate, hate being sick in the summer.
pockycrusader: (Default)
2017-08-14 11:22 am

(no subject)

I just got contacted for a contract library tech job. I think I did well in the screening interview with the recruiter, so I'm hoping that by the end of the day, I'll get an offer to go to the face-to-face interview at the end of the week.

It's a contract position, so there's no guarantee of regular employment after the contract expires, but at least I'd be logging work experience. Plus, the pay is a lot more than I've ever made anywhere else.

In the meantime, if I get offered this part-time job I'm interviewing for today, at least it'd be money and employment until something else came through.

I'm feeling kind of lucky right now to have gotten contacted for two jobs after months of not hearing much of anything. I'm hoping this means that thing are going to start improving overall.
pockycrusader: (Default)
2017-08-13 11:01 am
Entry tags:

(no subject)

I almost feel as though I can write today. I just don't know what to write about.

I started updating my media blog, Orange Cream Milkshake Supreme, again. I still haven't figured out what kind of a voice I want to have with it - do I want to be deeply analytical, or do I just want to give my impressions? Or do I want to try to do both? And how much time do I want to spend doing that? I feel like I can go deeper with my posts, but I don't want to be too cerebral for fear of chasing off any potential readers. You know, if more than a couple of actual people read it.

I've been reading a lot lately. I have finished my 52 books for the year goal (that would have been a book a week), but it's only August. Granted, some of those books were manga and children's picture books in Japanese, but still. And I'm still working my way through my backlog. My currently-reading list is as follows:



  • The Neon Court (Matthew Swift Book 3) - Kate Griffin

  • Minka: My Farmhouse in Japan - John Roderick

  • The Mongoliad (Foreworld Saga Book 1) - Neal Stephenson & others

  • A Princess of Mars (Barsoom #1) - Edgar Rice Burroughs

  • Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell - Susanna Clarke

  • Fudoki - Kiji Johnson

  • Monsters - David D. Gilmore

  • I Am A Cat - Natsume Soseki

  • War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

  • HTML & CSS For Beginners - iCode Academy (reviewing what I've learned)

  • Python Programming - iCode Academy

  • Deathless (Leningrad Diptych #1) - Catherynne M. Valente

  • Japanese Short Stories for Beginners - The Language Academy

  • Compleat Cat - Cleveland Amory



Anyway, that's what I'm reading and may eventually post reviews of on my other blog. We'll see.
pockycrusader: (Default)
2017-08-10 09:28 pm

(no subject)

At the amusement park, they had funnel cake stands that smelled sooooooo good! But, I have intense objections to paying extortionist amounts for a little bit of fried waffle batter, so I made my own today. They were so good! I will probably regret eating fried food so late in the day, though, but they were so crispy and delicious.

I got some new slacks for the interview on Monday. I have seriously got to work on losing some more weight. I kept seeing nice pants and stuff on clearance, by they were about two sizes smaller than I am right now. Of course, when I finally get down to that size, I won't be able to find that size on clearance anymore, but it's something to shoot for. It's a pain to be around "average" size for this area because everyone else always snaps up the cute stuff before it goes on sale or before I get there. I also have a hell of a time finding size ten shoes because I think everyone else around here wears them. Bastards. I wish I had tiny feet - those shoes are ALWAYS on clearance.
pockycrusader: (Default)
2017-08-10 09:54 am

(no subject)

I've got an interview on Monday for a part-time accounts receivable position. I had just put the application in about an hour before I got the call. At least it's confirmation that someone is actually reading these applications, at least somewhere. It's not a huge company - at least it doesn't seem to be so big that they have to rely on HR software - so I guess that's why my application actually reached human eyes.
pockycrusader: (Default)
2017-08-06 09:00 pm

(no subject)

This weekend, we went to Busch Gardens. Today, I went on a roller coaster - willingly - for the first time. When I was a kid, my family used to drag me on the roller coasters when they went to King's Island, but I never really wanted to go on them myself. I finally worked up the guts to get on Verbolten today.

I...didn't really dislike it, but I can't say that I enjoyed the adrenaline rush, either. Also, I didn't know that I could scream like that.

Next time I go, I want to get on InvadR, which is a wooden roller coaster. I'm not quite up to doing the ones where you have to be in a special shoulder harness, and there's no way in HELL I can consider approaching Apollo's Chariot (so. very. high....). But, this represents at least a small step outside of my comfort zone and at least two or three points toward my Guts stat.

Today was super hot. I got sunburnt while waiting in line for Verbolten. I got cocky and didn't think I'd get burnt, so I didn't put sunblock on. Fortunately, it's not a very bad burn, but I'm definitely slathering myself in SPF 50 next time I step outside.
pockycrusader: (Default)
2017-08-02 10:49 am

(no subject)

My grandmother came to visit this weekend. It was nice to do touristy stuff.

I really get tired of the stories she tells about how her kids and grandkids got their jobs and stuff. They are literally the whole Baby Boomer "give 'em a firm handshake and look 'em in the eye" thing, or someone gets a super entry-level type job and the employer opts to train them or encourages/pays for them to go to school to progress their career. Or they got a degree and got a great job immediately after getting out of college. Or they were able to start out in a low position, make enough money to support themselves (granted, not like kings but at least they could cover expenses), and work their way up a path of advancement. You know, all those things that don't happen now.
pockycrusader: (Default)
2017-07-21 01:26 am

(no subject)

I would love to get a decent sleep one if these days. I would like to not spend hours tossing and turning and ruminating. I would like to be able to just close my eyes and fall right to sleep like my cat does. Lucky little monster.
pockycrusader: (Default)
2017-07-19 11:32 am

(no subject)

I left the ALA group on LinkedIn. Most topics were usually from vendors with agendas, and any attempt to engage other librarians in conversation went nowhere. Other topics quickly became dominated by this one retired librarian with a massive hate-boner for Millennials and change in general.

Am I just generally unwelcome because I'm under 40? I mean, I can't do anything about my age or lack of experience. Should I just kill myself and get it over with so that more deserving Boomers can harvest my organs to prolong their obviously more superior lives? That's kind of the feeling I'm starting to get from the world.
pockycrusader: (Default)
2017-07-18 02:32 pm

(no subject)

I'm so tired of everything. I'm tired of the endless job hunt. I'm tired of endless rejections or silence. I'm tired of hearing old-farts spout off at the mouth about how horrible millennials are and how they lack everything that made the Baby Boomer generation "the best ever" (so great they tanked the economy twice in ten years and are working on a third time). I'm just....tired.