Profile

pockycrusader: (Default)
pockycrusader

July 2017

S M T W T F S
      1
234 56 78
91011 12131415
1617 18 1920 2122
23242526272829
3031     

Custom Text

Most Popular Tags

(no subject)

Jul. 21st, 2017 01:26 am
pockycrusader: (Default)
I would love to get a decent sleep one if these days. I would like to not spend hours tossing and turning and ruminating. I would like to be able to just close my eyes and fall right to sleep like my cat does. Lucky little monster.

(no subject)

Jul. 19th, 2017 11:32 am
pockycrusader: (Default)
I left the ALA group on LinkedIn. Most topics were usually from vendors with agendas, and any attempt to engage other librarians in conversation went nowhere. Other topics quickly became dominated by this one retired librarian with a massive hate-boner for Millennials and change in general.

Am I just generally unwelcome because I'm under 40? I mean, I can't do anything about my age or lack of experience. Should I just kill myself and get it over with so that more deserving Boomers can harvest my organs to prolong their obviously more superior lives? That's kind of the feeling I'm starting to get from the world.

(no subject)

Jul. 18th, 2017 02:32 pm
pockycrusader: (Default)
I'm so tired of everything. I'm tired of the endless job hunt. I'm tired of endless rejections or silence. I'm tired of hearing old-farts spout off at the mouth about how horrible millennials are and how they lack everything that made the Baby Boomer generation "the best ever" (so great they tanked the economy twice in ten years and are working on a third time). I'm just....tired.

(no subject)

Jul. 12th, 2017 03:46 pm
pockycrusader: (Default)
Wow. Three rejection emails in one day. That's gotta be a new record.

You know, it's really hard to stay persistent at this point. I mean, what do these assholes even want from me at this point? Blood? A kidney? Do I need to hire an assassin to pick off a few people at the top to free up some space?

(no subject)

Jul. 7th, 2017 11:03 pm
pockycrusader: (Default)
It's so weird how things get linked together in your head sometimes. For instance, I associate the feeling of holding a fish-hook (and having said fish-hook poke me in the finger) with a tough decision I had to make. There's nothing obvious about the two except that I was mulling over that decision at the same general time frame as the experience with the fish-hook. Now whenever I think about that decision, I get an almost tactile sensation of how thick the fish-hook was as I held it (though thankfully not the pain of getting poked).

(no subject)

Jul. 7th, 2017 10:51 pm
pockycrusader: (Default)
I have returned to Tumblr because...well... I don't know. Well, I mean, I decided I wanted to get this new screenname and.... anyway... I'm pentacleknight on Tumblr now.

(no subject)

Jul. 5th, 2017 09:14 pm
pockycrusader: (Default)
As stupid as this sounds, grinding personal stats in Persona 5 has sort of inspired me to try to grind my own real-life personal stats. I just...need to figure out how.

The stats are:

Knowledge - kind of self explanatory
Guts - courage, willingness to take risks
Kindness - empathy and emotional intelligence
Charm - attractiveness and... I guess "social" intelligence? Charisma, I suppose
Proficiency - Physical dexterity and skillfulness

So, I guess I need to brainstorm for what daily habits I can do to "grind" those stats. Any suggestions?

I should probably start by determining what my "baseline" stat is for each category - for instance, I think my "knowledge" is pretty high, but my "guts" and "proficiency" stats are much lower.

(no subject)

Jun. 28th, 2017 12:02 pm
pockycrusader: (Default)
I have applied for an open posting in Texas. I'm...not really sure about living in Texas, since I have only ever driven through there, but... it's a job and I have to go where the job is, right? And, the city is one of the major metropolitan areas, so I'm sure there will be tons of stuff to do. And it's not on a coast, so I'll get away from all the crazy coastal weather. And it's beef country, so I'll actually be able to get a decent steak (seriously, living on the coast sucks because all these places specialize in cooking seafood and crappy steaks).

But, we'll see.

Job hunting rant )

(no subject)

Jun. 23rd, 2017 08:20 am
pockycrusader: (Default)
I always say to myself when I go to the used bookstore that I'm just going to trade stuff in... and I always end up lying to myself. But, I got three new books to look forward to eventually reading. One of them was a Peter S. Beagle that I hadn't heard of, so I'm kind of excited about reading that. Alas, they didn't have the sequel to Mortal Coils.

(no subject)

Jun. 21st, 2017 09:37 am
pockycrusader: (Default)
No matter how frustrated I am with the process of trying to find a library job, no matter how discouraged and hurt I felt about not even being interviewed for that paraprofessional reference job at my local library, I just...can't stop looking and applying for library work. It feels like I'm beating my head against a brick wall over and over, but my head is hard and brick can only hold up against so much, right? Or am I just crazy and wasting my time, energy, and forehead?

(no subject)

Jun. 20th, 2017 10:42 pm
pockycrusader: (Default)
There seems to be entirely too much negativity both in my personal life and in the world in general. It's getting too easy to get sucked down into the dumps, or worse, to fall into complete apathy. I think I need a change of pace... but what?

(no subject)

Jun. 18th, 2017 11:23 am
pockycrusader: (Default)
Okay, so, personal confession time: the line from Forrest Gump - the one everyone quotes about the "box o' choc'lets" bugs the everlovin' daylights out of me. Unless it's extremely cheap and shitty chocolate (which all tastes like wax and disappointment), you always know what you're going to get because there's a goddamn chart printed on the box lid.

I just...really felt like I needed to get that off my chest.

(no subject)

Jun. 18th, 2017 09:37 am
pockycrusader: (Default)
I rediscovered my Five Finger Death Punch the other day. I really, really needed something I can growl along with, so...yeah.

(no subject)

Jun. 17th, 2017 09:22 am
pockycrusader: (Default)
I stayed up way too late, but I finally beat Persona 5. Now it's time for New Game +!

(no subject)

Jun. 15th, 2017 10:41 am
pockycrusader: (Default)
The library that I turned down called me back to try to address any concerns I had about the job. I told her about my concerns, and she told me that the system is really big and that openings happen a lot in different locations at different levels, but that she couldn't guarantee anything. She told me they'd keep me on the list and gave me her contact information if I had other concerns.

After my rejection from the local branch library, I'm kind of...reevaluating my life. They say you should just get up and try again, but when even the people who know you in person, your work ethic, and your education level decide you aren't even good enough for an interview, it's hard to get back up from that. They may claim it's a business decision, but it's hard not to see it as a personal snub, especially when they don't talk to you directly (or really even tell you at all, you just have to find out through other people because it's not like HR actually sends updates to people). I dunno... I just have a lot of...feelings about this. Mostly negative ones.

(no subject)

Jun. 14th, 2017 10:49 am
pockycrusader: (Default)
I can't seem to get to sleep these days. I go to bed in such a bad mood, and then I don't sleep well 'cuz I'm going to bed too angry and stressed out to sleep, and then I wake up in a bad mood because I slept like crap, then I'm in a bad mood all day, and then I go to bed in a bad mood so I don't sleep well....

Maybe I should start doing shots before I go to bed.

(no subject)

Jun. 13th, 2017 01:30 pm
pockycrusader: (Default)
I just found out that the part-time job that I applied to at my local library (where I used to work) was filled, and I didn't even get an interview. I mean, if I can't even get an interview where they know me and know that I'm interested in the work and have the education and want to work in that field, then... I think that it's time I just threw in the towel.

(no subject)

Jun. 13th, 2017 09:44 am
pockycrusader: (Default)
So, I got an offer, but I ended up turning it down for various reasons. I'm happy that I got an offer - it's a huge confidence boost. I mean, if I can get one offer, even if it turns out that this particular offer isn't "the one" for me, then I must not be as defective as I thought I was.

On the other hand, I worry that turning down this offer was foolish. I mean, I didn't turn it down lightly - there was a lot of thought and worry put into the decision - but I worry that there won't be another offer anytime soon. Is that irrational?

I dunno... maybe I'm just suffering from FOMO or something.

(no subject)

Jun. 11th, 2017 10:31 am
pockycrusader: (Default)
I went fishing for the first time yesterday. Fishing, not catching. Here is what I learned.


  1. Fish hooks really hurt when you jab them into your finger

  2. Casting isn't as easy as it looks

  3. Always make sure that you've got the correct weight line for your fishing pole, otherwise you'll end up with a tangled mess.

  4. Fishing is actually really boring. It's long periods of waiting around hoping something will bite on your line.

  5. Oyster toadfish are really ugly. I mean, seriously ugly.

  6. Crabs are greedy little bastards who will eat the bait off of your line and then let go of your line as soon as they realize they are near the surface



So...yeah. I don't think that fishing is going to become a favorite activity of mine. But, at least I got outside for a couple of hours.

(no subject)

Jun. 10th, 2017 06:27 am
pockycrusader: (Default)
It's not Friday, but here are some Friday Five questions I stole from @alwaysbeenasmiler

1) What was the first recipe or food you learned how to cook?:

That wasn't from the instructions on a box? Probably my "world famous" grilled "dorm-rat", which is a chicken breast marinated in Italian salad dressing and then grilled on a Foreman grill. My school didn't let you have "real" cooking utensils, though I did later sneak an electric skillet in to make stuff like fried rice and goulash.


2) What recipe or food did you cook most recently?:

I think it was sausage fried rice.

3) What recipe or food do you cook most often?:

Probably fried rice or cottage pie. They're easy, cheap, and you can make enough to serve four people pretty quickly.

4) What is your favorite recipe?:

I love to make pirogis from my Grandma's recipe. The recipe itself is pretty simple, but filling and pinching every pirogi individually takes ages (or a lot of hands), so I only make them when everyone's home to help. They're really inexpensive, filling, and you can get creative with the insides. I made rosemary cheddar potato filled ones last time and they were delicious.

5) What is the recipe you make that impresses other people the most?

Probably sugar cream pie. The ingredients and directions are simple, and it's so creamy and smooth when it's done. Plus, most people haven't ever had it, so it's a new experience for them. For Hoosiers, it's old hat, but nothing rounds out a tenderloin sandwich lunch like a slice of sugar cream pie.
Tags: